4 lbs

Apparently, changing my diet and exercising in addition to the Metformin has helped because I have already lost 4 lbs. Yay, me!! I haven't been following the low GI diet completely because I have been trying to eat up what food I do have in the house. In this economy and with finances the way they are, I just can't throw away food because I am starting a new diet. So, I have been doing the diet as best I can with the food I have and I still have lost weight. Yippee!!!

Today I went to the grocery store armed with my list of approved food and ingredients for various recipes. Since the diet relies so heavily on fruits, veggies and whole grain foods, it is a big change in how we have been eating. I was very worried about how much my grocery bill was going to be. I figured it was going to be higher than normal. It seems like all the food that is good for you is also more expensive. I was pleasantly surprised to find my bill was actually LOWER than normal. We must have been buying some expensive junk before. Granted, I didn't buy much meat this trip because I have plenty, but, still, it was about $20 lower than normal. Now we will just have to see if I bought enough to get through the week.

Poor T is not as excited as I am about changing the way we eat. The only junk food I bought this week was Oreos mainly because of B (that girl loves her Double Stuffed), but also because I don't want to completely deprive us of snackedly goodness. Total deprivation would probably back fire, quickly. T was a bit less than enthusiastic about what I bought and what will be available for him to eat. I strongly suspect he will be making a side trip to the store before the week is out. That or sneaking at work. That's OK with me. Right now it is more important for me to stick to the diet than him. I can work on him in the ensuing weeks :). B, on the other hand, so far doesn't seem phased by it. She was very happy with her salad today and really enjoyed trying a mango for the first time. I made sure to include some salami, which she really likes, so it wasn't completely different. Being so young, she will probably have less trouble adapting than T and I. I am really hopeful that we can stick with this. B will grow up eating healthy so it will be second nature to her to eat healthy when she is a teen and adult. If we get nothing else out of this than that, I will feel it has been worth it and productive.

The other good thing is that I have gotten 2 co workers looking into starting the low GI diet. One is interested for herself and her husband, and the other interested for her father who has recently been diagnosed with diabetes. Now I have at least one buddy for support as we work towards losing weight and getting healthier. T is doing this for me but I don't know that I would say he is all that interested or someone I will turn to when things get tough for moral support. He will be there in a pinch but day to day complaining, I think I would do better with a fellow woman and dieter.

I have read that losing just 5% of my weight can improve conception by 70% in a woman with PCOS. 70 % - WOW. I am already half way there. I know I have other issues involved with our infertility but at the very least, maybe I will start having regular periods again and possibly even start ovulating on my own again. If I can get my progesterone and estrogen back under control, I might even start sleeping better again because too low progesterone and too high estrogen can both cause insomnia. I have to admit, I have been sleeping better the last few nights since I started taking the Provera. Hormones are really funny things. I never realized what havoc they can cause when they are even just slightly out of whack.

Trying to retake control

I was thinking last night that one of the reasons I feel so lost and stressed out right now is that I feel like I have lost control. I am a bit (OK a whole lot) of a control freak. I had a plan for our future and now that plan is null and void as of right now. So much of me - my thoughts, my energies - revolve around our fertility issues now. It almost consumes me. Very unhealthy. SOOOOOO...I decided this morning to try and get a measure of control back in my life.

How am I going to try to achieve this, you ask? First by trying to tackle the problems that have evolved from PCOS. A friend sent me this link last night and it kind of kick started my decision - http://www.newsweek.com/id/73354. It is about how diet, exercise and weight control affect fertility. I think if I can start to feel better - my overall health, my self esteem - then I won't feel so overwhelmed. This involves a diet change and exercise, what we all know we need to do and have heard so often. The PCOS helped in my weight gain - probably 50 pounds over the last 1.5- 2 years- but I can't blame it solely on that. I know once the Metformin starts working, I may start dropping some of the weight because my body will be metabolizing what I eat better. But I can help that along. This article from Newsweek talks about how "good" carbs are beneficial for not only weight loss but helping out with my insulin resistance which in turn effects fertility. I am now on a mission to educate myself about what "good" carbs are and how to incorporate them into my diet. I also know that smaller portions are integral in weight loss but I also think that smaller portions and more frequent meals may help with my stomach rebellion against the Metformin. Last night I ate a much smaller meal than I normally do and I didn't have nearly the stomach problems I have been having with the Metformin. I don't know if it was related but it was a relief.

This morning I decided it was time to quit making excuses and get on a regular exercise regiment. I pulled out some DVDs I had bought once and never used on Pilates/Yoga and used them. Now I have never done Yoga so I know my form was horrible, but it got me sweating and my heart rate going. And it gave me a good laugh to see my 3 year old daughter, B, also trying to master downward facing dog. And the big plus, it made me feel good about myself..something I haven't felt in awhile. I am also hoping it will help with my insomnia. I am a bit sore right now but it is a good sore.

Overall, I felt pretty productive and like I was moving forward, not stagnant, today. I hope that I can keep it up and even get T in on it with me. If we do this together, we can encourage each other. I feel more empowered today than I have in a long time and I have such powerful motivation this time. Maybe we can find some good in all of this.